When your kiddo has food allergies, the world looks a little more dangerous, no matter how relaxed you are about everything else.

Mellow Little Person still has a dairy and milk allergy, which thankfully so far has resulted only in skin reactions. Seems also that MLP has an allergy to dogs,though we are not advised to avoid dogs, which is a plus, as DOGS are now the MOST EXCITING THINGS EVER, and a possible allergy to amoxicillin which is problematic, as it has only been prescribed for MLP once but I don’t think we can get through toddlerhood without need of another antibiotic. 

Hives, man. Hives are zero fun. Hives are such mad little things. We are relieved that so far MLP hasn’t scratched at any hives or experienced any more serious reaction. However, no matter how calm you are, seeing angry little raised bumps on your otherwise perfect child, and they’re all perfect, right, is disturbing. I keep my cool on the outside, but I think we are keeping manufacturers of Benadryl in fine homes, dapper wardrobes, and fancy dining. Picture it now: a bottle of the pink stuff in every room.

Never mind the Epi-Pen! Oh Epi-Pen JR, the tricky two-pack designed to send the pharmacist in to a tizzy because he thought I was demanding to be dispensed ONE, when they come in pairs.

Pharmacist: You want the Epi-Pen JR?

Me: Yes.

P: Oh. We don’t have one.

Me: You don’t have it? Are you out?

P: We don’t have it.

Me: Did they stop making it? Here, hold on a minute, I’ll call the company. (Separate short concise phone conversation with New York distribution of Epi-Pen/JR confirms that yes indeed it is not only made but it comes in packs of 2, and could that be the confusion? And I say well I would think the pharmacist knows that right? )

Pharmacist: We might have one tomorrow by noon.(Disappears for a moment, comes back.) No. Nope. Don’t have it.

Me (Actually keeping calm, cool and collected.): New York is the epicenter of allergic kids and proactive parents. Is it really possible you just don’t have the Epi-Pen?

Pharmacist: We don’t have it. 

Pharmacist’s colleague: Oh the Epi-Pen JR? It comes in a pack of two. We have that.

Pharmacist: I thought you just wanted one. 

I call it brick wall thinking.

Moving on: we have yet to breach the frontier of tree nuts, peanuts, and shellfish. NO MORE PEANUT BUTTER AND OYSTER SANDWICHES, kid. At least not all at once. One a week. Then you can have all the shrimp scampi and almond tarts you want. 

Totally kidding.