Kindly note that that is not me in the photo. It is some mama model using the best baby carrier ever made.    Sweet picture. Makes we want another baby. 

NOT YET.

Can’t have another baby while our baby is still a baby!  I understand spacing wee ones closely- since biology can seem powerful and undeniable, except for Hollywood actresses.  I understand how excellent sibling relationships can be with smaller age gaps.

Having had Mellow Little Person at 34 makes me a babe in the woods in Manhattan, where first babies are common for women who are 40 and over. Waiting, really any amount of waiting, might mean I am pushing our luck– our timeline tentatively places currently imaginary future kid somewhere past my 37th birthday.

Oh, don’t worry, I know we can’t really plan this plan. So, world, why do you ask us when, when, when even as you scoff at the idea that we have any real control over it? I understand, you are curious.

We don’t get mad. Heck, we have asked the question of beloved friends. Though I am pretty sure we were asking a lot more before we had MLP. This kid thing is a big deal. You never know when someone might 1)Absolutely not want another and oh boy the nerve of you to ask, or 2)Yearn for another but is experiencing an obstacle that they cannot overcome or 3)Think it isn’t any of your business.

This question can needle even folks with the thickest of skins. Choosing to have only one child still engenders mysterious indignity in some people. Secondary infertility entails a unique heartache for a number of couples, and they may or may not wish to discuss it. Other people really do not want to talk about their plans for conception.

Think about it what that question means. So, couple I don’t know very well, when will your sex life be goal-oriented again?  Kind of a non-starter, unless you are their therapist.

Where could the conversation go from there? I’ll say not the rosiest or most fun place. Ask me that question and I’ll probably tell you because that’s my style and I know you meant no harm and I will assume that you are so very excited about us making another MLP because wow is that kid amazing, but stop yourself before asking strangers or relatively new acquaintances, or your more distant family members.

People won’t miss the question, I promise.